What Can We Actually Give Up?

It’s clear that we live in a liberal capitalist, or consumer society, where the need to constantly want or need something is very deeply ingrained in us. The only question is whether we’re aware of it or not – and whether we try to fight it, or at least separate the important from the unimportant.

I won’t be giving you a lecture on sociological and philosophical theories about capitalism and consumer culture – as I said, we’re all part of it. What mattered to me here was to examine myself a little and draw a line: what is it that I use every day and believe I can’t do without – when actually I very much can.

At the top of the list, for a while now, has been sweets. There was a time when I thought no force in the world could separate me from eating something sweet every day, and in significant quantities.

And no – it wasn’t a diet that finally convinced me that sweets aren’t actually that important. (Hats off to people who can stick to diets, but I personally see no point in them.) It was Sofia. Since we’ve had her – especially since she eats everything we eat – we’ve realised that many things we consume are actually unnecessary (not to say unhealthy). And one of those things is definitely “something sweet.”

This doesn’t mean I’ve stopped eating anything that contains sugar forever. It just means that I don’t need to consume something (industrially) sweet every single day (fruit doesn’t count – I’m an absolute apple addict).

Now let’s wade into slightly deeper waters.

In the “laptop vs smartphone” duel, the laptop always wins for me!

Digital detox

Let’s think for a moment about mobile phones – or “smartphones,” to be more precise.

Don’t come for me just yet – I use my phone every day. The question is only whether everything we do on it is actually that urgent and important, or whether it’s simply stealing our time. I know that’s not a revolutionary insight.

But let’s put it this way: if you had to give up one piece of technology you use every day, what would it be?

Or maybe it’s better to flip the question: what is the one thing you genuinely couldn’t imagine life without? And now ask yourself – why?

When I asked myself this question, the first thing that came to mind wasn’t the phone but the laptop. Compared to the laptop, my mobile phone is completely negligible to me.

I’m someone who spends most of their day in front of a laptop screen. Since I’m in the middle of writing my Master’s thesis, I feel more grateful every day for the era we live in and for the fact that I have one.

Besides work, the laptop is also my main medium for consuming media – I’m a series and film lover, and that’s where I watch them.

Besides, while a phone is a small computer, I much prefer the “big” one. It’s more practical and more essential for everything I do professionally and as a hobby. And I genuinely couldn’t manage long-term without it.

But without the “smartphone”? Oh, I absolutely could.

I need it for work and for writing. But to be available to everyone, always and everywhere – that I really don’t need to be. Simple as that.

Laptop Yes. Smartphone – Not Necessarily.

As practical as it is, the smartphone has pulled all of us into a kind of hopelessness. We unlock it automatically, open certain apps, and scroll endlessly – but mindlessly. In doing so, we’re not actively taking in what’s happening around us, however convinced we are that we’ve become masters of multitasking.

You’ll also have to admit it’s quite unpleasant when you try to have a conversation with someone and they’re staring at their phone screen.

And let’s not even get started on “neglecting” children. Then we wonder why they also want to stare at those little screens all the time, and ask ourselves what we should do about it.

Simply: be an example for your child – because they imitate you first, and then perhaps the people around them.

As useful as social media are – do they really need to be present 24 hours in our lives? I say no.

Instagram Deleted. And I Survived.

I did a small experiment.

I deleted the most-used app from my phone – Instagram (no, I didn’t delete the profile, and yes, I’ll keep using it). The point is that I noticed how much less often I reach for my phone since I did it. I find myself picking up the phone in moments of boredom, but not knowing what to do with it – because Instagram and the automatic reflex to open it are simply no longer there, so I put it straight back down beside me or into my bag.

This way I not only feel more present where I am – especially when I’m playing with Sofka – but I also no longer have those procrastination moments while studying (just a quick peek at Instagram).

I’m not some righteous warrior fighting against evil social media – I just want to show you through my own example that only by becoming aware of the “problem” can we influence and control it.

Not Available Around the Clock

I’ve taught myself to keep my phone in another room while I work. It doesn’t distract me even by its mere presence – and since as a mother I often have a serious problem concentrating, I don’t let my phone ruin what little concentration I do manage to gather.

Nothing is so urgent that we have to respond this very second – and if it is, there are other ways to achieve that than obsessively checking the phone.

For us, that’s the landline when I’m home, or email when I’m at the library – so my closest people, who matter most to me, know where and how to find me if something is genuinely urgent. Everything else can wait.

To be clear: I’m a big technology enthusiast, and professionally I work with new technologies too. But life has been so much easier and less stressful since I taught myself and the people around me that I’m not available 24 hours a day. When I sleep, the phone is off. When I work, it’s in another room. When I spend time with family, it either stays home or doesn’t come out of the bag.