Keeping a diary has always been popular and isn’t really anything new or revolutionary. Girls love to start as soon as they learn to read and write, so they can confide in their “Dear Diary” who they have a crush on, how their day went and what a country bumpkin Sanja from class 2/5 is. But journaling brings big benefits to us adults too.
We live in a time when stress around us just keeps piling up, and we are expected to cope with it as well as we can and to deal with it as quickly as possible. In the process, it is very often forgotten that we are living beings with feelings and needs, not just obligations. We are expected to deal, in record time, with all the troubles that trip us up every day. But how? How do you find time for yourself in this modern jungle of obligations, when many “self-care” things cost not only a lot of money, but also our precious time?
What we can do for ourselves, and what is guaranteed to help us feel better in our own skin in a very short time, is to understand ourselves, our feelings and the situations we are in. We can often achieve this by talking to someone, but let’s be realistic, not all thoughts are suitable to be poured out in front of another person, however dear and trustworthy they may be.
That is why journaling is a very effective form of self-care, that is, of taking care of your mental health. And writing down my thoughts, feelings and/or events every day is something that has personally helped me a great deal to cope with the many stresses I go through on a daily basis.
It doesn’t matter whether you used to write and then gave up because you couldn’t find the time, because it was tiring, or because you simply didn’t know what to put on paper. What matters is that writing your thoughts down every day brings them clarity.
Who can write?
The beauty of this kind of writing is that you don’t have to be a writer, a talented writer or a journalist. EVERYONE can keep a diary, a notebook of thoughts or whatever you call your writing ritual.
How to start?
It doesn’t matter whether you have the most beautiful pen, a special fountain pen, the most expensive notebook, a planner or even a Remarkable (although if any of these motivates you even more, it can’t hurt). What matters is that every day you find at least 10 minutes to sit down and simply write down your current thoughts, feelings and worries.
Fear of the blank page is normal, and anyone who has ever written anything, even if it was only an essay at primary school, knows how hard it can be just to start. But that is exactly the key moment when you shouldn’t give up. Write exactly that – I don’t know what to write, nothing comes to mind, I’ve always had trouble putting my thoughts on paper clearly – or a similar sentence. And that is how you set off an avalanche. Because sometimes, or rather very often, we can’t know what is hidden inside us until we put it into words.
Write for yourself, not for someone else to read.
This way you will switch off self-censorship and get many more (especially negative) thoughts out onto paper. And it’s better for them to be out there, on paper, than inside, in your head, where they take up space meant for productivity, goals or positive thoughts.
I am someone who very rarely swears out loud, but my “diary” hides a whole lot of ugly words and negative expressions that I would never dare say out loud.
Choose the part of the day that suits you best.
For me, that is the morning. I try to get up at least half an hour before I have to wake Sofia for kindergarten every morning, and that is my time for writing my “diary”. That way I get out all the negative thoughts or troubles that piled up the day before or during the night (since I very often have nightmares).
And they don’t have to be negative thoughts per se, quite the opposite. If I have a page of lovely things that have happened in front of me, I feel as if I have made a big step forward in my life, and that is exactly the benefit of writing regularly: you notice very easily and quickly that things in your life, or at least your thoughts, are changing.
Sometimes all you need is to sum up the main events of the previous day. But the definite benefit of writing in the morning is that I start the new day unburdened. I literally feel that the moment I put the pen down, the fog before my eyes lifts and I see the world around me more clearly. That is the effect this kind of writing has on me.
Some people prefer to free their thoughts before going to sleep, so that they go to bed with a calm mind. Others do it during the day. It doesn’t matter when, what matters is that you find that time for yourself.
What matters is that you build a habit.
As James Clear writes in his book “Atomic Habits”, what counts in forming a habit is not how many days go by, but how many times you repeat something. That’s why it’s best to write every day, even if only for 5 minutes. The advantage of building habits is that you automate the action, that is, you don’t have to actively think about when you will do it again. Like brushing your teeth, for example. I’m sure nobody actively thinks about it, because it has become part of us, a habit. And it’s the same with writing.
What is the best form?
That is the beauty of writing something nobody else will read: there are no rules. Whether you write in the first person, the third or in the plural doesn’t matter. Whether you write 15 sentences or fill 5 pages doesn’t matter either.
The topic and the form are completely free, and it’s up to you to decide on them.
For me, journaling, along with working out, is the best kind of “self-therapy”. Because working out releases my physical tension and writing my mental tension, and then I get through any obstacle during the day much more easily and calmly.
So what are you waiting for?! Grab a pen and paper, and I guarantee you will feel better!
Warmly,
S-Mama
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