Living a dream? Exactly so, I am currently living my dream.
But no, it has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of money I earn or the career I have started to build.
It’s not about princes or white, black, and other horses, nor about castles, towers, and cities.
It’s not about acquiring properties, cars, expensive clothes, or luxurious travels…
It’s not about any kind of ideal anything.
For the first time in my life, I can read exactly what my heart desires, and that without a hint of guilt or advice!
Yes, you read it right.
My dream has always been to be able to read what I want and how much I want, without any obstacles.
There was always something more urgent. School, studies, job hunting…
I would occasionally reward myself with reading sessions after the exam period. Or in short breaks between writing scientific papers, but then there was always that nagging little voice in the back of my mind saying, “Look at her, reading ‘nonsense’ instead of engaging with serious literature.”
Instead of studying, writing, job searching, you’re “wasting time” reading.
And so on and on.
But reading is not a waste of time for me.
Reading is my passion. An integral part of me, just like writing (because one cannot exist without the other, at least not in my case).
A full-time job, family, and a hobby?!
For over a year now, I’ve been employed and working full-time, and it makes no sense to elaborate much on my new job, except that I am extremely satisfied where I am, even though I’m not involved in writing or reading.
I realized that it’s not necessary to exclusively engage in what you’ve envisioned to be happy and satisfied.
(I’ll write a separate text about that soon)
One of the advantages of my “day job” is precisely that it allows me to read whatever and however much I want!
Perhaps the most important lesson I applied from the start of the new job is – work is done during working hours and stays there.
I don’t take it home, I don’t work on weekends, I don’t check emails after working hours.
Of course, sometimes I don’t manage to complete everything I planned in 8.5 working hours, but there’s always tomorrow, and no one will lose their life if something remains to be done the next day.
My hidden perfectionism occasionally surfaces with the “brilliant idea” to use a few minutes of my free time to read a certain document so I can apply it the next day, but then I slap myself on the fingers and say, “No way.”
And it works.
And because I made such a clear distinction in my mind and apply it in reality, I can freely engage in things that are important to me after working hours.
And those are actively participating in family life, reading, and writing.
How do I find time to read?
During the past year, I read over 20 books! Mostly novels, in Serbian, English, and German (depending on my current inspiration).
During rainy, cold, and snowy periods, I replaced the bicycle as a means of transportation with the bus. I commuted to work every day for 25 minutes one way. And as soon as I got on the bus, regardless of whether I found a free seat or stood the whole way, I would take out a book and get lost in the written lines until I heard the name of the station where I needed to get off.
The same routine repeated for months on the way home.
Often, I managed to read a few pages before bed, but those sessions were usually very short.
And so, day by day, ride by ride, book by book, in less than 4 months, I read a two-digit number of books. Exactly the ones I wanted, those for my soul.
And not once did the nagging voice appear!
Because hey, for the first time in my life, I freed myself from it!
Living a dream, I told you!
Since Sofka started reading on her own, this wonderful activity has taken on a completely new dimension.
My second dream of sitting side by side, each immersed in her book, finally came true.
Of course, Marko particularly envies me for that, because his nagging voice isn’t a nagging voice but an anaconda.
Maybe I wouldn’t have realized that I’m living my dream if he hadn’t told me. And I’m grateful for that because we often take things for granted and forget to give them the necessary importance.
And it’s really important to stop and say to ourselves, “Hey, what’s happening right now is exactly what you’ve always longed for.”
I don’t need much, just one hour a day to dedicate myself to a world someone else skillfully created, and that’s my cherry on top of the cake.
And what’s yours?