Living a Dream: How I Find Time to Read

Living a dream? That’s right, I’m living my dream right now.

But no, it has absolutely nothing to do with how much money I earn, or with the career I have started to build.

It has nothing to do with princes or white, black or any other horses, nor with castles, towers and cities.

It has nothing to do with buying property, cars, expensive clothes, expensive trips…

It has nothing to do with any kind of ideal anything.

No.

For the first time in my life I can read literally whatever my heart desires, and without a shred of guilt!

Yes, you read that right.

My dream has always been to be able to read what I want, as much as I want, with no obstacles whatsoever.

There was always something more pressing. School, university, job hunting…

Now and then I rewarded myself with reading sessions after the exam period. Or in short breaks between writing academic papers, except that then, somewhere at the back of my mind, that little worm would always be gnawing away, saying: “Look at her, reading ‘rubbish’ instead of serious literature.”

Instead of studying, writing, looking for a job, you’re “wasting time” reading.

And so on, endlessly.

But for me, reading is not a waste of time.

Reading is my passion. An inseparable part of me, just like writing (because one can’t exist without the other, at least not in my case).

I have been employed full time for over a year now, and there’s no point writing much about my new job, other than that I’m really happy where I am, even though I don’t work with writing or reading.

I realised that you don’t per se have to do exactly what you once imagined in order to be happy and fulfilled.

(More on that in the post “Do What You Love?!”)

One of the advantages of my “day job” is exactly that it has made it possible for me to read whatever I want, as much as I want!

How?

Perhaps the most important lesson I applied from day one in my new job is work gets done during working hours and stays there.

I don’t take it home, I don’t work weekends, I don’t check emails after hours.

Of course, sometimes I don’t manage to do everything I planned in an 8.5-hour working day, but there is always tomorrow, and nobody is going to die if something is left for the next day.

Now and then my hidden perfectionism pops up with the “brilliant idea” of using at least a few minutes of my free time to read this or that document, so that tomorrow I can apply this or that, but then I slap my own wrist and say: “Oh no, you don’t.”

And it works.

And because I have drawn such a clear line in my head and stick to it in real life, I can devote myself undisturbed to the things that matter to me after work.

And those are being actively involved in family life, reading and writing.

Last year I read more than 20 books! Mostly novels, in Serbian, English and German (depending on my mood at the time).

In the rainy, cold and snowy months, I swapped my bike for the bus. I travelled 25 minutes each way to work every day. And as soon as I got on the bus, whether I found a seat or had to stand the whole way, I would take out a book and lose myself in the lines, until, out of the corner of my ear, I heard the name of my stop.

The same game repeated itself for months on the way home.

Quite often I also managed to read a page or two before bed, but those sessions are usually very short.

When the weather is nice, printed books and the Kindle make way for audiobooks, and the bus for my beloved bike.

And so, day by day, ride by ride, book by book, in less than four months I read a double-digit number of books. Exactly the ones I wanted, the ones for my soul.

And not once did the little worm show up!

Because hey, for the first time in my life I had got rid of it!

Since Sofka started reading on her own, this wonderful activity has taken on a whole new dimension.

With that, my second dream, of the two of us sitting side by side, each lost in her own book, has finally come true too.

Of course Marko is particularly envious of me, because his little worm isn’t a worm, it’s an anaconda.

Maybe I wouldn’t even have realised that I’m living my dream if he hadn’t told me so himself. And I’m grateful to him for that, because so often we take things for granted and forget to give them the importance they deserve.

And it’s so important to stop and tell ourselves: “Hey, what is happening right now is exactly what you have always longed for.”