Yes, the end of the year is approaching – that’s a fact. But no, this isn’t one of those texts where I sum up the year behind us. I’d rather ask: what do holidays actually mean to us, and how do we spend them?
Of course I adore the New Year and Christmas holidays – and since Sofia has been with us, I think I love them even more than before.
Since we live in Germany, we get to actively participate in – or at least observe – how the Germans celebrate their important holidays. Christmas is definitely the one they put the most emphasis on.
Since we live in another country and therefore another culture, there’s no way – nor any desire on our part – to isolate ourselves from everything happening around us.
So in a way, we also celebrate two Christmases (“theirs and ours” – although personally I see no reason to celebrate essentially the same holiday twice on two different dates, but that’s another topic).
German tradition is such that the holiday mood arrives as early as the end of November. There are the Christmas markets, the mulled wine, the roasted almonds with various toppings, punches and biscuits – all of it fills the air.
Cities are decorated, as are private homes (inside and out). And it’s completely impossible to remain immune to the whole atmosphere and be cynically dismissive: “No, this isn’t our Christmas, we’ll just ignore all of it.”
No, we don’t celebrate “their” Christmas in exactly the same way as “ours” – but since our child is growing up here alongside other German children, she naturally takes part in everything they do. This year she was especially excited about St Nicholas Day.
Of course she knows about Father Christmas too – but St Nicholas was something special this year.
Some might say that’s too much celebrating in a short period of time – and I wouldn’t argue with that. But I find myself actively wondering: what do holidays actually mean to us? Is it a time to spend money without restraint on various gifts and too much food – food that could realistically feed us for a week, but which we stuff into ourselves in a single day, because it’s a holiday after all?
I don’t know about you – but for me, a holiday is a free day when I decide not to work and instead spend active time with my family.
A German Christmas: No WhatsApp, No Chaos – Just Family
What I particularly noticed this year is the way Germans perceive holidays. Yes, they buy gifts in significant quantities. Yes, they cook. Yes, they spend time primarily with family, sometimes with friends. But no – they don’t send messages to everyone in their phonebook, not on Facebook, not on WhatsApp. They genuinely spend holidays with the people who are in the same room with them on that day.
We sent messages to all our German friends wishing them a happy holiday. And imagine – nobody, but absolutely NOBODY responded on Christmas day itself. The replies came a day, two, or three days later. And no, we weren’t offended or upset. On the contrary – we thought about it… It actually fits perfectly into the picture of the Germans.
Because they’re the ones who don’t check emails after work, who don’t sit exhausted in front of the TV, but do something together with their family or friends.
The weekend is for rest – and especially Sunday, when literally NOTHING is open. No shops, no kiosks.
When it’s a public holiday, nothing operates anywhere, because the holiday belongs to everyone – not more to some and less to others. Everything you need gets bought by 8pm on weekdays and Saturdays, and then everything closes, because everyone has the right to their own time, to rest and to enjoyment.
Everyone’s on Their Phone. Nobody’s at the Table.
On the Balkans, somehow the prevailing custom has become that what matters most is who texted you or left a comment on social media – and that aside from eating without limits at the table, most of the time is spent responding immediately to received messages, because just imagine what would happen if you didn’t respond right away.
The result of all this is that everyone ends up staring more at the little screen in front of them than actually spending active time with those who are present. No, it’s not enough to simply be there physically – you need to be there in spirit too, completely.
It really is lovely when many people think of you on any holiday – and you should reply or congratulate them. But that doesn’t have to be right now and immediately!
Put the Phone Down. Just for This One Day.
So next time you’re celebrating, put your phones out of sight and talk to the people sitting next to you – because they’re the most important ones, they deserve to be wished happy holidays properly and given your full attention.
For everyone else, there’s always tomorrow – which doesn’t mean they matter any less. Trust me: only then will you feel the true magic of the holidays and remember that they exist so you can relax with exactly the people you love most.
Happy holidays – whenever and whichever ones you celebrate – from your
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