Home office has been our reality for over a month now. Lots of parents are working from home. We’re aware of the situation we’re in, and of course it isn’t ideal, especially not the reason we’re all staying home. But here we are, so why not try to make the best of it? And no, this is not one of those rosy you can do it all posts.

My husband has noticed that I’m “blooming” in self-isolation. And he’s right. It seems the scales of my personality tip towards the “introverted” side after all, I admit it.

I love organizing my own day, and that kind of freedom makes me much more motivated and productive, because above all it lets me be with my family as much as all of us need. And on the other hand, when it’s time to work, I work at full steam.

I love that Sofia is here all the time. For a change, I love that we don’t have to rush to get to kindergarten on time, then to one job, then to the other, then back to kindergarten, round and round. After a long time, I can finally give her my attention the way, and as much as, I’d love to even in normal circumstances.

I love that Marko is home all day. He loves it too, because he can finally breathe, read, write his PhD and his articles for publication, without anyone tugging at his sleeve to do a thousand other things.

Actually, this state of things at home reminds me of my master’s days (minus the lurking corona).

Even though Sofia is home and wants to spend every second of the day with me, I manage to get much more work done in a day than usual. The only difference is that I’m not a slave to the formality of sitting in an office from 9 to 4. Instead, I have the freedom to arrange my own day. And I feel much more motivated, getting much faster and much better results with less pressure.

Let’s not kid ourselves: working from home while having a small child is not easy at all, and it’s far from ideal.

Not because you don’t love your child, but because a small child needs a lot of attention. Especially in these new circumstances, where they depend entirely and directly on you. No kindergarten, no playing with other kids in the park, no friends coming over.

But there’s playing with mom and dad all day long.

The grandma and grandpa service isn’t an option for us here, because grandma and grandpa live and work in Serbia. The auntie service is available now and then, which truly means the world to us. But she has her own work and study commitments too, so it would be both selfish and unrealistic to expect her to jump in whenever we need help.

So how do we manage on our own? What’s actually the key to how we function?

A little girl hugging her mom while she works at the computer at home

Great Organization

Marko and I genuinely work really well together. Not only do we understand each other, we also try to step in for each other whenever needed. We’re in this together, and nobody has the more important commitments.

Since we’re both working from home and have a small child, it’s impossible and unrealistic for us to work at the same time. The first and most basic split we set up is a split by days. I work on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, and he works the rest of the week. On the days when I have to work in the morning, he plays with Sofia, walks Beni and takes care of the household. And when it’s his turn to work, I take all of that over.

There are those “perfect” days. Days when our split works brilliantly. But there are more of the other kind, the more realistic, unpredictable ones, just like kids themselves. On those days, when it’s my turn to work, despite Marko’s very best intentions to keep Sofka busy, nothing stops her from coming into the room a few times “just to ask me something” or “just to give me a kiss”.

Willingness to Compromise

And then what? My concentration has been broken several times over, and there’s no getting it back. That’s when the willingness to compromise comes in. On those days, I put work aside, Marko does his thing, and I take over looking after Sofia.

On those days, my working hours move to the night shift. Only once Sofia has fallen asleep do I go back to my desk and focus on my work without interruptions. For me, this is the ideal compromise, because neither the child nor the work suffers, which is extremely important.

Setting Priorities

Above all, you need to set priorities. My priority is my family, meaning my child. And there’s not much to think about there. That doesn’t mean my work suffers or that I don’t care about it. It simply means I work more when I have the chance, which is from 8 p.m. onwards, for as long as I can stay focused.

Being Realistic

On the other hand, it would be unfair to blame only the child for the bad days. Of course not every day is ideal.

When I’m having a bad day and can’t work properly, I take a break and don’t work at all that day. I give myself a “midweek weekend”. That day I do something for my soul (I read, write, watch films and series). It matters to me that I can allow myself that.

I’m aware that I’m incredibly lucky, because not only can I do my job from home, but the nature of my work also means I don’t have to be at my computer at a set time. What matters in my job is that the work gets done well and successfully by a certain date, not what time of day I do it.

So I also know that when I have a good, productive day tomorrow, I’ll make up for everything and get much more done than if I had just sat in front of the computer, getting frustrated.

If anything matters in these challenging times, it’s staying healthy, both physically and mentally. So be honest with yourselves and realistic about what you can do.

Stay healthy. #stayhome

S-Mama