Ode to Mothers

How many times have you walked in your mother’s shoes before having your own children? Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it much, to be honest.

As children, we are very selfish. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that in a negative way. It’s simply a fact. We always prioritize our own needs above the needs of others, and perhaps that’s normal. Until we become parents ourselves, and everything shifts.

Why am I thinking about this now? Well, this isn’t exactly a new thought for me. But it often resurfaces during moments when my daughter needs me the most – usually around 3 AM when she has a fever and I sit on the floor next to her bed, whether she’s asleep or gently stroking my hair. In those moments, I can’t sleep until her temperature returns to normal.

Those are moments of helplessness, when we want nothing more than to swap places and endure the discomfort ourselves to ease their suffering. And yet, we stay awake all night, doing whatever we can for them. It feels like the least we can do.

The next day, however, we face not just household responsibilities but personal ones – work, studies, or preparing for a master’s thesis. We drag ourselves through with tired eyes, liters of coffee, and a mix of love and worry.

Of course, every moment spent away from Sofia, especially when she is unwell, makes me feel guilty for not being there for her. But life doesn’t wait, and responsibilities pile up.

So, I’ve managed to shift into ‘I can, I must’ mode because I know that by doing so, I’m contributing to a better future for my entire family. This mindset helps me get through those tough times, even when I’d rather be by her side.

That doesn’t mean I love her any less, or that every second away from her feels wasted. Quite the opposite. Balancing family and personal responsibilities is something I strive for daily – and I believe we all do.

On the other hand, it’s okay if dad takes the lead in caring for her, especially when she’s sick. After all, he is a parent too, and he knows how to care for her.

We may not have fully recognized it, but we’ve learned from our mothers how to be good parents.

Thinking about my own mother, I remember how she stayed up all night with us when we were sick. In the middle of the night, she’d be there giving medicine, changing clothes, and comforting us. And in the morning, she’d head to work for 8 hours and still come home to care for us. How she managed to do that without breaking down from exhaustion, I’ll never know.

Yes, children are selfish. And I feel ashamed for not thinking about this earlier. I feel guilty and want to change that.

Then I think about how Sofia might feel in the future when I have to work instead of being with her, and how that may seem unfair. But I hope she understands, just like I never fully understood my own mother.

Maybe that’s part of growing up – evolving, maturing, and realizing how much we owe to those who’ve come before us.

The point is, even though it’s not Mother’s Day, Women’s Day, or any other specific occasion to celebrate mothers, I want to express my gratitude now, in the way I know best – with words:

To apologize on behalf of all the children who didn’t fully understand their mothers when they needed them the most. And to tell them that we understand now, and we admire them more than ever.

We have social media, blogs, and forums to share our experiences with one another, but our mothers didn’t have that. That doesn’t mean their struggles were any less real, or that they didn’t feel the same guilt, or that they didn’t love us endlessly.

That’s why we admire them, why we say thank you.