{"id":7882,"date":"2021-10-22T13:13:39","date_gmt":"2021-10-22T11:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/deca-i-razlicitosti\/"},"modified":"2026-10-21T17:38:31","modified_gmt":"2026-10-21T15:38:31","slug":"eaching-kids-respect-differences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/en\/eaching-kids-respect-differences\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Teach Children to Respect Differences?"},"content":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s no shortage of reasons to point out how different people are from each other. We could start with gender, go through skin color, religion, nationality, the names we carry, hair color, height, weight, eye color\u2026 the list never ends.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

What if, for a change, we started looking for the traits that make us similar to someone instead, and let that be the basis for connecting with each other?<\/p>\n

As most of us know from our own experience, children can be incredibly cruel. That said, I don\u2019t think children<\/strong> are inherently bad or mean \u2014 I think they\u2019re very much mirrors of their parents, and of the environment they grow up in.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Which means WE are the ones fully responsible for how our children behave!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We can\u2019t, and shouldn\u2019t, ever just wave it off with \u201cwell, they\u2019re just kids.\u201d Those kids are people, and they\u2019ll grow up carrying the values they\u2019re absorbing right now \u2014 and they\u2019ll treat other people based on exactly those values.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We often lose sight of problems until they knock on our own door. We\u2019re fine with \u201cour kid teasing a chubby kid,\u201d but we\u2019re not fine when someone won\u2019t play with our kid because of the language they speak at home. Double standards don\u2019t help anyone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So we have to teach our children that they shouldn\u2019t discriminate against anyone, just as they shouldn\u2019t have to tolerate discrimination from anyone either.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sofia has been playing very actively with Barbies for about a year now, and we figured that might be the least painful way for her to learn (especially during the pandemic, when she didn\u2019t have much contact with other people) that every kind of difference is not just acceptable, but genuinely worth having.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So she has an enviable collection of dolls (small and large) of every \u201crace\u201d \u2014 we have a Native American, an African, an Arab, a white doll, a shorter-statured Latina vet, we have a girl in a wheelchair\u2026 I\u2019m especially proud of Sofia here, because she picked that last one out herself (I\u2019ll admit the rest were my own pure educational indoctrination), and it\u2019s the one she plays with most right now. As for the rest, we\u2019re still missing an Asian doll, currently waiting on an Amazon list for her turn to move into our house.<\/p>\n

\"Three<\/a><\/p>\n

Nobody\u2019s perfect, and neither is my family. And no matter how hard we try to pass certain values on to our children implicitly, those same children don\u2019t live in a vacuum.<\/p>\n

After a \u201csituation\u201d from daycare, which Sofia mentioned to me in passing, I felt like I\u2019d personally failed.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing: Sofia is close friends with two girls, both born here in Germany, one of Moroccan background. In their group there\u2019s also a girl a year older than Sofka, whose dad is African (I\u2019m not sure exactly which country, since I don\u2019t know the man personally), and the little girl has dark skin. (The information above isn\u2019t meant to highlight where anyone comes from \u2014 just to give the whole story a clear context. The point is: everyone is different.) So anyway, at one point I casually asked Sofia if she plays with that third girl too, and she told me no, because she\u2019s not the same as them<\/em> (meaning herself and her best friends, who are light-skinned).<\/p>\n

Hearing those words come out of MY child\u2019s mouth left me deeply shaken.<\/strong> Because I never could have imagined that Sofia \u2014 even under whatever influence from her surroundings or other children \u2014 could end up thinking that she could discriminate against someone simply because that someone is, say, different in skin color. It\u2019s not the child\u2019s fault. It\u2019s ours.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because nothing is a given, and it\u2019s clear that a lot of things have to be said out loud and clearly for them to actually become the norm. Otherwise, this is exactly the kind of \u201cslip-up\u201d you end up with.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

After that \u201cincident,\u201d I talked with Sofka often about the problem of discriminating against people who are different from us in any way.<\/strong> Besides the dolls I mentioned, I bought her books on the topic, and I also addressed the issue directly every time she was surprised that someone on the street was \u201clike this, or like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s still little, that\u2019s true \u2014 she\u2019s still learning and getting to know the world around her, that\u2019s true too. But this is also the best possible opportunity to correct the mistakes that we ourselves surely made throughout our lives, out of ignorance or carelessness (for one reason or another). Because I would hate for Sofia to grow up to be a nationalist, a racist, a homophobe\u2026<\/p>\n

What matters more to me, personally, is what kind of person she\u2019ll be toward other people, not whether she\u2019ll be successful in any particular field.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Being the reasonable kid she is, she quickly understood and accepted the mistake she\u2019d made, and started actively working to correct it. She even started correcting others herself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

No, she still doesn\u2019t play with the girl I mentioned. But there are other reasons for that now, ones that have nothing to do with how she looks. The two of them simply don\u2019t have enough shared interests to be close on a more intimate level. Which is completely fine, because on the other hand, it\u2019s also not okay to prefer someone purely based on their skin color \u2014 that\u2019s discrimination<\/a> too<\/strong> (and no, there\u2019s no such thing as \u201cpositive discrimination\u201d).<\/p>\n

So how do I know the problem\u2019s actually been nipped in the bud? Because Sofia now actively plays with two boys, one of Indian background and the other of Italian background (both dark-skinned). So I could finally breathe easy. Because the lesson was learned. Which, again, doesn\u2019t mean we should stop talking about this and similar topics \u2014 because, as with everything else, it\u2019s always better to prevent than to cure.<\/strong><\/p>\n

What matters is what kind of person someone is, not what they\u2019re called or what they look like, where they come from, what color their skin is, whether they eat pork or nothing of animal origin at all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, my dear parents, for the sake of our children, let\u2019s set our differences aside and stop closing our eyes to the small problems our children run into \u2014 because today\u2019s small problems can turn into serious problems once those children grow into adults.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Warmly,<\/p>\n

S-Mama<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s no shortage of reasons to point out how different […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8167,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1056],"tags":[4500,3065,4501,4499],"class_list":["post-7882","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mother","tag-anti-racist-parenting","tag-discrimination","tag-multiculturalism","tag-teaching-diversity"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTeaching Kids About Diversity and Respect | S-Mama<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Teaching kids about diversity starts at home. 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