{"id":7871,"date":"2021-11-05T10:50:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-05T09:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/dodatne-aktivnosti\/"},"modified":"2026-10-21T17:31:56","modified_gmt":"2026-10-21T15:31:56","slug":"kids-extracurricular-activities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/en\/kids-extracurricular-activities\/","title":{"rendered":"Kids’ Extracurricular Activities: When to Start?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every parent wants what\u2019s best for their child. But how often do we load our own wishes, and the expectations of the people around us, onto them, and then push those onto our kids? And how much do we actually listen to what they want and need?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Marko and I try to impose as little of our own preferences and habits on Sofia as possible, but I\u2019m not sure how successful we actually are at that \u2014 especially when it comes to our love of books. Guilty as charged. We admit it, and we don\u2019t feel even a little bit sorry about it. Marko passed on his fascination with the universe and celestial bodies to her, and I passed on mine for cartoons. Still, a child doesn\u2019t live in a vacuum, right?<\/p>\n

But she isn\u2019t a copy of us. She\u2019s very much her own person, and we try not just to support that, but to actively listen to her. Dinosaurs, for example, are entirely her own passion, one she\u2019s passed on to the rest of us.<\/p>\n

But when is the right time for parents to actually start listening to their children\u2019s own wishes when it comes to extracurricular activities?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

By this I don\u2019t mean daycare, playing with neighborhood friends, trips to the playground, or anything like that. When I say extracurricular activities<\/em>, I mean sports, dance, language lessons, or other private lessons that have nothing to do with home, school, or daycare-related activities.<\/p>\n

Before Sofka and I talked about what she\u2019d like to do or learn, I first talked to her pediatrician. I didn\u2019t want us to start anything too early, but on the other hand, not too late either (if there even is such a thing, since Marko and I are firm believers in lifelong learning).<\/p>\n

Once we got the green light from the pediatrician that between ages 5 and 6<\/strong> is the optimal window for exploring additional interests, we started giving Sofia ideas of things she could try, and told her she genuinely didn\u2019t have to do any of it if she didn\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n

First attempt \u2014 unsuccessful<\/h2>\n

Since Sofka\u2019s cousin on her aunt\u2019s side does dance, Sofka first wanted to try that discipline \u2014 kids naturally find whatever the older kids do interesting. Luckily, Ana\u2019s friend teaches ballet classes for children, so Sofka said she wanted to try ballet together with her aunt, and of course we made that happen.<\/p>\n

But she got bored pretty quickly and didn\u2019t want to go anymore. She said: \u201cIt\u2019s fun, but I can\u2019t keep going there.\u201d That was enough for us, because we never wanted to force her into anything.<\/p>\n

The whole point of these extracurricular activities is for the child to actually enjoy them, not to have them doing something \u201cby force\u201d from a young age.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So her dance career<\/em> has been paused indefinitely, or permanently \u2014 depends on Sofka.<\/p>\n

And so we went back to letting her come to us with an idea, whenever she\u2019s ready for one.<\/p>\n

Second attempt?<\/h2>\n

Music is a big part of our everyday life. Even though neither Marko nor I have any real talent or knowledge when it comes to it, music has a very important place in our lives<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Last summer, when we were in Serbia, Sofia asked me the following question in the middle of playing:<\/p>\n

\u201cMama, how is music made?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I tried to answer as best I could within the bounds of my very limited knowledge on the subject. And then came the follow-up:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we get home, will you please take me so I can learn to make music?\u201d<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t say she wanted to play an instrument, or sing \u2014 she said to learn music<\/em>, in those exact words.<\/p>\n

So what else could I do but dive straight into research. So, I needed a school that teaches what she\u2019s interested in. And I found, right in the city center, a Music Academy<\/em> offering a so-called Musical Education<\/em> program<\/a> for kids Sofka\u2019s age. Perfect.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a course that teaches children the basics of music through play \u2014 getting to know instruments, notes, tones, and so on. So the point isn\u2019t to shove an instrument into a child\u2019s hands right away, but to give them a foundation for eventually choosing one, a year or two down the line.<\/p>\n

Naturally I was thrilled with the concept, but I\u2019m obviously not the one who\u2019ll be attending the classes, right? So it made sense to take Sofka to a class where she wouldn\u2019t just watch the concept and the other kids, but also get the chance to actually participate herself, and decide at the end whether she\u2019d be interested in coming back.<\/p>\n

Honestly, after the first class \u2014 whether because of the kids she didn\u2019t know, or just something new and unfamiliar in general \u2014 she said she really liked it, but that she wasn\u2019t coming back. And I let it go. Luckily, the classes are once a week, so there\u2019s no risk of overloading kids, and she had plenty of time to let her impressions settle.<\/p>\n

So two days before the next class, she came up to me and asked \u2014 mama, when are we going to music again?<\/em> That\u2019s when I knew that was it, and that I needed to take her again. After that, she never doubted her choice again. She got to know the other kids and relaxed a lot, the teacher is very warm, and all of that added up to Sofka asking every single day when it\u2019ll be Thursday again, so we can go to music.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"A<\/a><\/p>\n

As far as I\u2019m concerned, as her parent, what matters to me is that she does what she actually enjoys and loves<\/strong>. At this age, it matters to me that she\u2019s not overwhelmed<\/strong>, so it\u2019s great that classes are only once a week. And if she loses interest again and says she doesn\u2019t want to do it anymore, I\u2019ll support that too. Even if, after this, she never wants to try or do anything else \u2014 she\u2019ll have our green light regardless.<\/p>\n

So, as far as we\u2019re concerned, the right time for kids\u2019 extracurricular activities is whenever the child asks for it<\/strong> \u2014 not whenever outside social factors decide it should be treated as the norm. And no, she doesn\u2019t need to be building any kind of \u201ccareer\u201d at five and a half.<\/p>\n

A child should get to be a child.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And as parents, in this as in everything else, our job is to listen to them and support them. Because we can\u2019t lose sight of the fact that they are their own individuals<\/strong> \u2014 not a second chance for us to fix, through them, whatever we didn\u2019t manage to achieve ourselves.<\/p>\n

Warmly,<\/p>\n

S-Mama<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every parent wants what\u2019s best for their child. But how […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8156,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1056],"tags":[4487,4486,1526,4485],"class_list":["post-7871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mother","tag-child-autonomy","tag-child-led-interests","tag-gentle-parenting-en","tag-kids-activities"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKids' Extracurricular Activities: When to Start? | S-Mama<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When is the right time for kids' extracurricular activities? 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