{"id":7356,"date":"2020-02-01T17:07:50","date_gmt":"2020-02-01T16:07:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/srpski\/"},"modified":"2026-10-19T10:08:12","modified_gmt":"2026-10-19T08:08:12","slug":"bilingual-child-unsolicited-comments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/en\/bilingual-child-unsolicited-comments\/","title":{"rendered":"Does She Even Know Serbian?!"},"content":{"rendered":"

While I\u2019m trying to sort out my impressions from my unplanned trip to Serbia, I remembered that a thematically related, and very important, post about last year\u2019s trip back home<\/em> has been sitting unpublished for quite a while. It was obviously waiting for the right moment, and the right moment is now: to serve as an introduction to the posts that follow.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Yes, I know it\u2019s been far too long since I wrote the first post about our journey to Serbia after 5 years. But so much happened in the meantime that writing about it felt not only like a chore, but also beside the point.<\/p>\n

As I mentioned before, Sofia, at not quite three years old, traveled for the first time to the country where not only her parents come from, but her close and extended family too. Many people were seeing her for the first time, and even more importantly, she was meeting many people for the very first time.<\/p>\n

For her, the whole experience was an adventure: her first flight, a different country, a different culture, people unlike anything she\u2019d been used to so far.<\/p>\n

Cautious as she is, there were moments when we were afraid it would all be too much for her, that she\u2019d simply be overwhelmed by everything. And she was, and she wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

The best part of all was getting to know and spending time with her many cousins, because that was really the whole point of our trip: for the kids to spend time together and grow closer (as much as that\u2019s possible in such a short time).<\/p>\n

Kids, honest and uncomplicated as they are, didn\u2019t cause any trouble or ask any silly questions.<\/p>\n

But the grown-ups\u2026 That\u2019s a whole other story.<\/p>\n

There are those who know Sofia and generally know what three-year-olds are like, so they don\u2019t expect her to jump into their arms at first sight and tell them everything she knows. She\u2019s still a child, and a child for whom everything happening around her right now is completely new. Imagine that, she won\u2019t start talking right off the bat, or go off with a person she doesn\u2019t know even to the next room, let alone any further. We understood that, we know our child, and we didn\u2019t force her into anything.<\/p>\n

But many people didn\u2019t, and so the question we heard most often was \u201cso does she even know Serbian?!\u201d<\/p>\n

You won\u2019t believe how many times we heard that question in just two weeks of being \u201cback home\u201d. Yes, I was stunned too!<\/p>\n

At first we\u2019d explain that of course she does,<\/em> but she\u2019s shy and needs time to get to know someone and start trusting them (which is perfectly normal, isn\u2019t it?).<\/p>\n

And then I started getting cheeky myself, because I began to see the question as a provocation.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a><\/p>\n

Cold German?!<\/h2>\n

What does that even mean? Why do people feel the need to mock in such a bizarre way?<\/p>\n

The moment you live not in Serbia but, say, in Germany, you\u2019re instantly a \u201ccold German\u201d, your child doesn\u2019t know \u201cthe language of her ancestors\u201d, and you owe everyone a mountain of presents or even financial help, because you\u2019re over there, so you automatically have it all<\/strong> and you owe it just for that. Seriously?! I\u2019ve had enough of this!<\/p>\n

\n

My child knows both Serbian and German, and God willing, she\u2019ll learn at least one more foreign language, because language is the greatest treasure, one that no one can ever take away from you.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Language Is the Greatest Treasure<\/h2>\n

Second, snide remarks have always been rude and distasteful, and never funny<\/strong>, whatever they\u2019re about.<\/p>\n

And third, don\u2019t expect me to stay smiling and nice after other people\u2019s rudeness. I won\u2019t insult anyone, I won\u2019t argue, but I won\u2019t put up with verbal abuse either<\/strong>, especially when it comes to my child.<\/p>\n

In the end, I started answering with no, she doesn\u2019t, you\u2019ll have to speak to her exclusively in Latin, she is the child of academically educated parents, after all.<\/em> And it worked. The rude person would suddenly back off, and even look a little ashamed.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s completely fine with me if people no longer have anything in common with us to talk about, or if they don\u2019t know how to behave around a small child, but it\u2019s not fine for you to be rude because of it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If You Can\u2019t Say Something Nice, Don\u2019t Say Anything!<\/h2>\n

No matter what the topic is, a lot of people simply have no sense of decency. And when it comes to kids, it all takes on a whole other dimension.<\/p>\n

\n

So if you have nothing nice and decent to say to a child or their parents, don\u2019t ask the child \u201cwho do you love more, mommy or daddy\u201d, and don\u2019t ask the parents \u201cwhy is she so spoiled\u201d, \u201cwhen\u2019s the second one coming\u201d or \u201cdoes she even know Serbian\u201d.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Easier for you, and easier for us.<\/p>\n

S-Mama<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While I\u2019m trying to sort out my impressions from my […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7949,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1056],"tags":[3854,3859,3086,3856,3855],"class_list":["post-7356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mother","tag-bilingual-child","tag-diaspora","tag-living-abroad","tag-serbian-language","tag-unsolicited-comments"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nRaising Bilingual Children and Unwanted Comments | S-Mama<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cDoes she even know Serbian?!\u201d Every family raising bilingual children abroad hears it. 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