{"id":7240,"date":"2019-06-30T14:00:39","date_gmt":"2019-06-30T12:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/sta-radis-kada-ne-radis-nista\/"},"modified":"2026-08-15T10:57:05","modified_gmt":"2026-08-15T08:57:05","slug":"sta-radis-kada-ne-radis-nista","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/en\/sta-radis-kada-ne-radis-nista\/","title":{"rendered":"\u0160ta radi\u0161, kada ne radi\u0161 ni\u0161ta?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Znam, sve znam. Ovo je trebalo da bude drugi tekst o na\u0161em pute\u0161estviju u Srbiju. I znam, od kraja marta tj. trena kada sam predala master rad je pro\u0161lo dosta vremena. A gde sam ja? \u0160ta radim? Za\u0161to ni\u0161ta i \u0161ta to <em>ni\u0161ta<\/em> zna\u010di?<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Jo\u0161 dok sam aktivno radila na <a href=\"https:\/\/smama.blog\/en\/writing-masters-thesis-with-child-and-family\/\">zavr\u0161avanju master rada<\/a> ma\u0161tala sam i smi\u0161ljala \u0161ta \u0107u sve mo\u0107i da radim onda kada budem imala slobodnog vremena na pretek. \u010cak sam u svom rokovniku napravila i listu pod nazivom &#8220;\u0160ta \u0107u sve raditi kada zavr\u0161im master rad&#8221; (logi\u010dno).<\/p>\n<p>Ose\u0107aj olak\u0161anja i sre\u0107e po zavr\u0161enom poslu je izostao. To vam je kao kada jedva \u010dekate da polo\u017eite ispit, i onog trenutka kada ispit pro\u0111e nema euforije, sre\u0107e, ni olak\u0161anja koje ste o\u010dekivali da \u0107e se desiti. Prosto ste prazni. Informacija o uspehu je prisutna, ali je samo to, informacija. Da li je to ose\u0107anje normalno za sve druge ljude ja ne znam, ali kod mene je oduvek tako i bilo.<\/p>\n<p>Va\u017eno je da je &#8220;najgore pro\u0161lo&#8221; i onda je ostalo samo \u010dekanje.<\/p>\n<p>Prvih meseca dana po zavr\u0161etku mastera su bili fenomenalni, \u010ditala sam i radila sve ono \u0161to se na\u0161lo na mojoj prethodno pomenutoj listi. Imala sam vremena za u\u017eivanje na pretek, a i \u010dastili smo se putovanjem u Srbiju, pa sam se i time bavila, kako realno tako i emotivno.<\/p>\n<h2>\u00a0<strong>Kada \u010dekanje postane pakao<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Ali kada smo se iz Srbije vratili u normalu i svakodnevicu, \u010dekanje se pretvorilo u pakao. Od ocene za master rad zavisila je cela moja, ali i dobrim delom budu\u0107nost na\u0161e porodice. Da li \u0107u upisati doktoske, da li \u0107u tra\u017eiti drugi posao, a \u0161ta \u0107emo za vizu i sto drugih teskobnih pitanja svakoga dana od tada mota se po mojoj glavi.<\/p>\n<p>Svakodnevne obaveze postaju jedina &#8220;zanimacija&#8221; koju imam, jer ja svoju svrhu trenutno nekako nemam u vidokrugu. Tu je porodica, tu je Sofia naravno, a i Beni. Treba olak\u0161ati i Marku i preuzeti sve mogu\u0107e obaveze oko ku\u0107e i Sofie na sebe, kako bi sada on mogao da aktivno pi\u0161e. Po stanu uvek ima ne\u0161to da se sre\u0111uje i radi. Ali ja nemam \u0161ta konkretno da radim, jer samo \u010dekam. I \u010dekam. A vreme prolazi&#8230;<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3003\" style=\"width: 3850px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/smama_blog\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3003\" class=\"wp-image-3003 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/smama.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/img_20190524_123650-scaled-e1647012310946.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_20190524_123650.jpg\" width=\"3840\" height=\"5120\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3003\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u010citanje kao nagrada za ulo\u017eeni trud.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Posle vi\u0161e od dva meseca rezultati su kona\u010dno do\u0161li, ne tako dobri kako sam se nadala da \u0107e biti, ali to nije ni va\u017eno. Gotovo je. Sada kona\u010dno mogu da krenem dalje.<\/p>\n<p>Ili da li mogu?<\/p>\n<p>Svaki dan je i dalje isti. Odvesti Sofku u vrti\u0107, pro\u0161etati Benija, srediti ku\u0107u, podi\u0107i Sofku iz vrti\u0107a i provesti vreme s njom i u me\u0111uvremenu \u010ditati po malo za svoju du\u0161u. I to je to.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Udavila sam samu sebe svakodnevicom i sopstvenim besmislom.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2>Udavila sam se sopstvenim besmislom<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Ja nisam neko ko ume du\u017ee vreme ni\u0161ta da ne radi<\/strong>, i to je moj problem oduvek. Super je mesec dana, pa i dva imati slobodno vreme na pretek. Ali sve preko toga je previ\u0161e i ne vodi apsolutno ni\u010demu. Umesto da se okrepi\u0161, ti pada\u0161 sve dublje u provaliju besmisla.<\/p>\n<p>A sve ostalo trpi manje ili vi\u0161e zbog toga trpi&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Trpi i ovaj blog, koji sam redovnije pisala i bila mu posve\u0107enija onda kada sam imala milion obaveza, a sada kada &#8220;nemam \u0161ta da radim&#8221; ne mogu ni da pi\u0161em, nemam kada, ne mogu, ne \u017eelim&#8230; Ne znam ni sama. Vreme jede samo sebe, dani prolaze, a ja tapkam u mestu.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Kako se izvu\u0107i iz provalije besmisla<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Pokrenula se pomalo i jesam u tom silnom \u010dekanju, jer sam se kona\u010dno upisala na fitnes i time dobila jo\u0161 jednu obavezu kojoj \u0107u se iskreno posvetiti i radovati. I deluje. Idem redovno na treninge i ose\u0107am se fantasti\u010dno posle njih. Ali ni to nije dovoljno. To ne daje smisao.<\/p>\n<p>\u0160to bi rekao Milan Mladenovi\u0107: &#8220;Probudi se! Pokreni se! I moram se pokrenuti. Pod hitno!<\/p>\n<p>Zato i pi\u0161em ovaj tekst, koji za vas mo\u017eda i nema previ\u0161e smisla. Ali meni zna\u010di da stavim ono \u0161to me mu\u010di na ovaj virtuelni papir, jer svaki put kada ne\u0161to glasno ka\u017ee\u0161 ili napi\u0161e\u0161 to postaje stvarno i tek tada mo\u017ee\u0161 da po\u010dne\u0161 da se suo\u010dava\u0161 sa tim.<\/p>\n<p>Te se ja nadam, kada je moj besmisao dobio materijalni oblik, da \u0107u kona\u010dno mo\u0107i da po\u010dnem da tragam ponovo za svojim smislom i ponovo na\u0111em odgovor na pitanje &#8220;ko sam ja i \u010demu stremim&#8221;.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Sa ciljem ispred sebe, mnogo je lak\u0161e motivisati se, a ja sam na raskrsnici i jo\u0161 ne mogu da prevagnem na koju \u0107u stranu&#8230; A vreme ne \u010deka&#8230;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>A \u0161ta vi radite kada ni\u0161ta ne radite? I koliko dugo mo\u017eete ni\u0161ta da ne radite?<\/p>\n<p><em>S-Mama<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Znam, sve znam. Ovo je trebalo da bude drugi tekst <a href=\"https:\/\/smama.blog\/en\/sta-radis-kada-ne-radis-nista\/\"> [&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4894,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1056],"tags":[3494,3189,1019,3501,3495,3496,3502],"class_list":["post-7240","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mother","tag-gubitak-smisla","tag-licni-razvoj","tag-motivation-en","tag-posle-master-rada","tag-praznina-posle-studija","tag-slobodno-vreme-i-besmisao","tag-zivotni-cilj"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u0160ta radi\u0161, kada ne radi\u0161 ni\u0161ta? - S-Mama Mima<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Posle predaje master rada umesto olak\u0161anja \u2014 praznina. 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