{"id":7204,"date":"2018-05-03T12:20:33","date_gmt":"2018-05-03T10:20:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/moze-ona-sama\/"},"modified":"2026-10-21T17:52:36","modified_gmt":"2026-10-21T15:52:36","slug":"overprotective-parents-childrens-independence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/smama.blog\/en\/overprotective-parents-childrens-independence\/","title":{"rendered":"She Can Do It Herself"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s talk a little about a mother\u2019s overprotectiveness about her children\u2019s safety, or how fast they grow up<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Before I became a mom myself, it always mildly annoyed me when people talked about how fast kids grow up and how time starts flying by at an insane speed once they arrive.<\/p>\n

And then I became a mom and realized those weren\u2019t empty words after all.<\/p>\n

Sofia is about to turn two. Already! But she\u2019s still Mommy\u2019s baby!<\/p>\n

And then I started thinking about how we parents very often, and actually quite unconsciously, even hold our children back by seeing them exactly that way, \u201cthey\u2019re still so little,\u201d and out of an excessive fear that something might happen to them.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like that myself, even though I was convinced I belonged to the group of \u201ccool, relaxed parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

How I Realized I Was an Overprotective Mom<\/h2>\n

Whenever we go to a playground, I always feel that Sofia is still too little for some of the \u201cequipment\u201d and that it\u2019s still dangerous for her. The slide, for instance. And then last weekend, which we spent like every other one, partly in nature and partly on playgrounds, came a wake-up call<\/em> for Mom, meaning me.<\/p>\n

\"Sofia<\/a><\/p>\n

I know that Sofia will never do something unless she\u2019s sure it\u2019s safe. She\u2019s just like that. Last summer, for example, it took her several hours just to step onto the sand: she had to scout it out properly, explore it and touch it a couple of times, only for a moment, before she finally agreed to take a step. That\u2019s who she is, and we respect that about her, so there\u2019s no persuading and nothing by force. We show her, explain what something is for and wait for her to approach it on her own, at her own pace.<\/p>\n

So when you know you have that kind of child, and then you see her at the playground sliding down a huuuuge slide all by herself (the slide was actually a perfectly normal size, but from my perspective, for my almost-two-year-old, it was gigantic), your blood runs cold.<\/p>\n

I found myself ridiculous as I started running circles around her while she climbed all over that wooden wonder (a playhouse), and when she sat down, ready to go down the slide, I froze. I shouted, \u201cWait, let Mommy help you!\u201d and while I was still saying it, she had already sat down nicely on her own, laughing her head off, and slid down the slide completely normally<\/strong>, not headfirst or in any of the ways we frightened parents imagine it could happen.<\/p>\n

Marko, of course, was watching us from the side the whole time and, knowing me as a mom, was dying of laughter, because he knew I\u2019d be scared stiff. He\u2019s simply more relaxed than I am, because he\u2019s more aware that in many places there is actually no real danger (and I envy him that).<\/p>\n

All the Fears Are Mine, Not Hers<\/h2>\n

Only then did I realize that all the fears are really just mine<\/strong> and that nothing is going to happen to her. And I started laughing at myself.<\/p>\n

In my defense, I like to say that \u201csomething broke in me when I became a mother,\u201d meaning that along with Sofia, a whole mountain of fears and insecurities was born too.<\/p>\n

I like to believe this is normal for all mothers, but I also like to believe that we can make an effort to become aware of our worries about our children, and that we can relax juuust a little.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Clearly, out of fear for their safety, we parents often hold our children back. And I don\u2019t want that.<\/p>\n

So here I am, completely relaxed.<\/p>\n

Okay, maybe not completely, but I\u2019m cool, totally cool.<\/p>\n

Maybe not quite cool, but I\u2019m trying not to run after her for fear that she\u2019ll dart into the street or fall off the swing. I\u2019m trying with all my might.<\/p>\n

Maybe today isn\u2019t the day I\u2019ll make the complete turnaround, but I\u2019m optimistic that one day I\u2019ll get there.<\/p>\n

Thank You, Daycare<\/h2>\n

And for all of this, I\u2019m actually grateful to daycare. Because there, alongside very dedicated teachers and other children, Sofia learned to relax and to try many new and wonderful things that we, however devoted we are to her and her many activities, obviously can\u2019t give her. If she were at home with us all day, she probably wouldn\u2019t have gone near a slide for at least another year, because I would have decided she was too little for it. And what do I actually know about that?<\/p>\n

So with every day I\u2019m more and more certain that putting Sofia in daycare \u201cso early\u201d was the right decision, first of all for her, and then for us too. Because we learn alongside her.<\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not saying children should do whatever they want, however they want, at any cost. That\u2019s what we parents are there for: to stop them from running out in front of cars, for example.<\/p>\n

But we have to admit that we often go too far in our worry. And there\u2019s no need. They are little, yes, but they\u2019re not as unreasonable as many people think.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Because believe me, our children can do a lot on their own.<\/strong><\/p>\n

S-Mama<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s talk a little about a mother\u2019s overprotectiveness about her […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8218,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1056],"tags":[3385,3388,3384,3390,3389],"class_list":["post-7204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mother","tag-childrens-independence","tag-kindergarten-and-development","tag-overprotective-parenting","tag-playground","tag-relaxed-parenting"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nShe Can Do It Herself: Confessions of an Overprotective Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Confessions of an overprotective mom and one playground slide: a personal essay on how parental fear holds kids back, and why all the fears were mine.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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