How is it possible that you fall for that kind of social pressure, that men and women alike have to look a certain socially conditioned way to be able to enjoy summer?\u201d I said, slightly shocked, unable to hold my tongue.<\/p>\n
Not to mention that he is in the prime of his twenties and has a perfectly normal build, so the very idea of him giving in to that kind of pointless pressure, reaching perfection<\/em>, whatever that means, simply didn\u2019t fit my picture of the reality young people live in today.<\/p>\n I lived in the belief that we millennials were the last generation indoctrinated to hate our bodies<\/strong> and to constantly strive for some Apollonian ideal that exists only with the help of Photoshop.<\/p>\n Gen Z was supposed to be free and to accept themselves as they are, right?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The second shock was that this kind of \u201cworry\u201d about looks was coming out of the mouth of a young man, because until then I had heard sentences like that almost exclusively from women.<\/p>\n It gave me a new perspective on the whole issue, because clearly men also care a great deal about how others see them and whether they meet some unrealistic standard set by the media.<\/p>\n The discussion didn\u2019t stop there, it was only gaining momentum. We started comparing gyms in town, not just by price but also by what they offer. And then the young man says, completely casually:<\/p>\n \u201cAt our gym there\u2019s a section just for women, and of course all the machines there are pink.\u201d<\/p>\n To which I, thinking out loud, said:<\/p>\n \u201cHm, if a gym has a separate section for women, something is seriously wrong there. In other words, they know from the start what kind of clientele they get, so a move like that is necessary.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPersonally, I would never go to a gym with a separate women\u2019s section, because to me that\u2019s a sign that women aren\u2019t safe there and that\u2019s why they get a section of their own.\u201d<\/p>\n And I hit the nail on the head, because he confirmed my point:<\/p>\n \u201cWell, yes, I\u2019ve noticed there are little groups of men who react pretty loudly and inappropriately, commenting on the women walking through the gym on their way to that separate section.\u201d<\/p>\n There we go.<\/p>\n And so it begins\u2026<\/p>\n Then another friend, already in his thirties, chimes in:<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it really isn\u2019t okay how some women come to the gym these days. They dress provocatively on purpose, in tight leggings and sports bras, so it\u2019s no wonder men react.\u201d<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t see my own face at that moment, but I imagine it was the equivalent of a jaw hitting the floor in disbelief, like in cartoons.<\/p>\n There was no time to count to ten or to practise Mel Robbins\u2019 \u201cLet Them\u201d theory<\/a>. A red light with a full alarm went off in my head and the angry feminist had to react, here and now.<\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute, do you really think women go to the gym to \u2018provoke\u2019 men?!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you know, it used to be that they dressed normally for the gym, they came to work out in tracksuits and baggy T-shirts, and now that has changed and they dress far too provocatively. And then they complain when people comment on them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEasy, easy\u2026 First of all, a woman has the right to dress however she wants and however she feels comfortable<\/a>, and believe me, 99% of women dress the way they do for themselves, not for men, whether they\u2019re going for a walk or to the gym, it makes no difference.<\/p>\n What matters to us is feeling good in our own skin,<\/strong> not drawing comments that make us feel uncomfortable and afraid for our safety.<\/p>\n And secondly, news flash, women go to the gym to exercise and work on THEIR OWN bodies, not to provoke immature men.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cWell, what do they expect then? It\u2019s in men\u2019s nature to react to external stimuli.\u201d<\/p>\n There we go.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not actually an argument, because men are not animals who can\u2019t control their urges. When you need the loo, you don\u2019t stop in the middle of the street and do your business, do you? You look for the nearest toilet.<\/p>\n That\u2019s called controlling your natural urges<\/strong>, which every living being has, regardless of sex.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n On the other hand, you and other men react to \u2018sexualised\u2019 stimuli because SOCIETY lets you react under that very excuse. It has nothing to do with nature, nothing at all.<\/p>\n As Simone de Beauvoir<\/a> says in her landmark work The Second Sex:<\/p>\n one is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.<\/em> The same goes for men.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n For centuries men have been allowed to be men, or \u201cboys will be boys\u201d, while female sexuality was suppressed to the point where it would be best if it didn\u2019t exist at all.<\/strong><\/p>\n And if it has to exist, then only for reproduction or purely for the pleasure of those same men with their \u2018natural urges\u2019.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s not forget that in the Western, mostly Christian world, the female ideal<\/strong> is the Virgin Mary, a woman so completely asexual that she conceived immaculately, thereby not only fulfilling the main female role, becoming a mother, but also being set up as an unattainable ideal for all the women who came into this world after her.<\/strong><\/p>\n So all the others who don\u2019t strive for that are whores.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n By that logic, a woman can be either a saint or a whore<\/strong>, there\u2019s nothing in between. All in all, society defines a woman solely by how a man sees her, not by how she feels.<\/p>\n Besides, with that comment you are one step away from justifying rape with the question \u2018what was she wearing\u2019, and I honestly believe that\u2019s not what you want.\u201d I admit I got a liiittle heated.<\/p>\n \u201cThat has nothing to do with it!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s where you\u2019re wrong, because it\u2019s exactly premises like that which lead to those justifications. Anyway, let\u2019s put it like this: how would you feel if your girlfriend came home from the gym all upset because some guys there had been making comments while she was working out? Would you first ask her \u2018what were you wearing?\u2019 or would you want to break those idiots\u2019 noses?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s different!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe point is that it isn\u2019t. All women, whether they have a direct connection to you or not, should be treated with respect, not as sexual objects made for male eyes and rude comments.\u201d<\/p>\n As a woman who goes to the gym regularly, I know for certain that almost none of my \u201ccomrades-in-arms\u201d go to a workout thinking \u201cwhat shall I wear today so that men will look at me\u201d.<\/p>\n I go to the gym to exercise, for myself, for my health, for my body and for the good feeling after a workout.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Lately Sofia comes with me to almost every workout. While I train, she reads or listens to her little stories. Everyone adores her, and I can see the sparkle in her eyes while she watches me train.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why I go to the gym: to be a role model, strong and healthy for my daughter.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n And I would certainly not take her to a gym where grown women don\u2019t feel safe, let alone little girls.<\/p>\n I happily pay a high monthly fee, and I chose a studio with no \u201cspecial section with machines for women\u201d, where the members are considerably older and serious people, and lo and behold, people go there to work out, not to \u201ccheck out\u201d others.<\/p>\n On the contrary, when I see women and men in their sixties and seventies training devotedly next to me, it motivates me even more to come regularly, so that I not only live to their age but am just as vital and fit as they are.<\/p>\n I have always admired women who have enough confidence to train in a sports bra and leggings, regardless of their age or how toned their bodies are.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n That was my goal too: to be happy enough with myself and my body<\/strong> that one day I could also feel good dressed like that. And I reached that goal.<\/p>\n For more than half a year now I have been training in exactly that outfit myself.<\/p>\n And when I look in the mirror, I think \u201cdamn girl, you look good\u201d, and that\u2019s how I motivate myself to keep training and get even better FOR MYSELF!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I don\u2019t go to the gym to fish for other people\u2019s compliments, and I believe no woman does, or very few. I\u2019m sure there are women who enjoy it, but they are the exception rather than the rule.<\/p>\n And I have nothing against that, on the contrary, you do you<\/strong>.<\/p>\n But the point of the story is that men have neither the biological nor the social right to comment on how women dress or to justify their bad behaviour with nature and urges.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n It\u2019s socially acceptable for men to walk down the street without a shirt and nobody complains, but if a woman walked down the street without a top and bra, everyone would turn around, protest and probably even call the police.<\/p>\n Male nipples are socially acceptable, even on social media, while female ones are vulgar, sexualised and strictly censored.<\/p>\n And that has nothing to do with nature, only with norms imposed by society.<\/strong><\/p>\n Sadly, for centuries the female body has been sexualised and presented only as an object for men\u2019s pleasure and for reproduction.<\/p>\n In her book on exactly this topic, \u201cWomen Don\u2019t Owe You Pretty\u201d<\/a>, author Florence Given sums up the whole problem brilliantly:<\/p>\n \u201cObjects don\u2019t have to be empowered, they are objects.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This approach means that, for men, women are not subjects who can decide for themselves how to dress, but merely objects that exist for male eyes and needs, under the excuse \u201cbecause that\u2019s male nature\u201d.<\/p>\n The biggest defeat is when women themselves accept this pattern<\/strong> and I hear them say \u201che\u2019s a man, men work differently and can\u2019t hold back, so we women use our sexuality as a weapon to get what we can, because that\u2019s male nature\u201d.<\/p>\n Woman is a wolf to woman<\/a>, again?!<\/p>\n Comments like that are proof that patriarchy has deeply poisoned even the minds of strong, emancipated women.<\/p>\n For centuries this \u201cargument\u201d has served men as an excuse to behave towards women the way they do. And it\u2019s not only about gyms, but about every area of life, including the workplace.<\/p>\n This pattern allows men to hire only a certain type of woman, not based on what she knows or has to say, but solely on whether they find her attractive or not.<\/p>\n And we women should stick together<\/strong>, not judge each other by how we look, whether at the gym, at work or in the street.<\/p>\n![\"Mima](\"https:\/\/smama.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/PXL_20250303_123300128-min-1-761x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nPink Machines, for the Girls<\/h2>\n
\u201cMale Nature\u201d as an Excuse<\/h2>\n
![\"Sofia](\"https:\/\/smama.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/PXL_20250322_154204730.MP2-min-576x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nDouble Standards<\/h2>\n